Please, if you hate me now,
remember that once you loved me,
and look upon me without guile,
but search your heart for those times,
when promise was anew.
I try to understand your need,
to be away from me,
I know I've not been easy,
these years we've spent,
yet, my loyalty has always been,
and I have never left, and even still,
in the silence of this night,
when your voice is missing,
I am ever true.
I pray you remember our hearts and souls,
and keep the things we've shared close to you,
looking upon them not with sadness,
but with a sweet swelling of your heart,
remembering the miracles we have,
treasured.
The friendship, the love, the family,
the good times, the hard, oh....
oh such a good life we have had,
my dearest friend of ever,
I miss you, I love you,
saudade....
Author Notes
Saudade (singular) or saudades (plural) (pronounced [sɐ.uˈdaðɨ] or [sawˈdaðɨ], is a Portuguese language word difficult to translate adequately, which describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return. Saudade has been described as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist ... a turning towards the past or towards the future".[2] A stronger form of saudade may be felt towards people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing. It may also be translated as a deep longing or yearning for something which does not exist or is unattainable. Saudade was once described as "the love that remains" or "the love that stays" after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone ( e.g., one's children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. In Portuguese, 'tenho saudades tuas', translated as 'I have saudades for you' means 'I miss you', but carries a much stronger tone. In fact, one can have 'saudades' of someone with which one is, but have some feeling of loss towards the past or the future.
© Dawn Michelle. All rights reserved
1 comment:
When I first read this piece, I for some reason (perhaps due to a sense of guilt) thought it was me the person to whom you refer in your rhymes. Later you told me it was Tony and somehow it made sense to me. Even so, everytime I read the words of this poem, I cannot help from feeling the cold touch of the blame even if it hasn't been me the cause of your grief and sorrow, as you said. Honestly? I really want so much to believe in it but the word "saudade" is there to raise the doubt.
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